


A court of Shadow & Blood

by 6Floralmess6



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Action/Adventure, Azriel Needs a Hug (ACoTaR), Blood Magic, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Domestic Fluff, Drama & Romance, Fae & Fairies, Fanfiction, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Lesbian Character, Magic, Multi, Murder Mystery, My First Fanfic, Mystery, POV Azriel (ACoTaR), POV Morrigan (ACoTaR), Prythian, Romance, Sad Morrigan (ACoTaR), Wattpad Romance's Romance Friday, Witchcraft, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:22:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29357937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6Floralmess6/pseuds/6Floralmess6
Summary: An Azriel Fanfiction"The devil, shadowsinger, is whatever you want them to be. What do you desire most? What will you sacrifice everything for?"He knew what he wanted the most. He was looking at it but black, cold eyes stared back.No. What he wanted was not this. His desire was human, living, filled with warmth and love. It laughed in the colours of the rainbow and the songs of birds. It had the shadows of lovers wrapped around it and the darkness of assasins and magic flowed in it's veins."I can help you get whatever you want for a small sacrifice." The hauntingly familiar person spoke. "Or you will can die trying. Choose wisely, for you are trapped here with me." Their smile turned lethal."I am not trapped with you." The spymaster smiled. "You are trapped with her."
Relationships: Azriel (ACoTaR)/Original Female Character(s), Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Morrigan (ACoTaR)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

It’s dark. 

I can’t see. 

He’s here again. What is he doing?

What does he want? 

I’m cold.

There is a serpent. 

He turns. 

He’s looking at me now. 

What does he look like? Wings. He has wings. Illyrians. He’s one of the warriors. 

What does he want? 

He never tells me. My throat is dry from screaming. 

He’s warm. No. 

Someone is touching me. Alcina, is that you? 

I can’t ask. I can’t move. 

They are lifting me up. Carrying me. Alcina can’t do that. 

But that’s okay. They are warm. And the outside is cold. It’s okay. I want to be warm. 

Are they a friend? An enemy? Am I where I wanted to go? Were my powers enough to get me inside? 

Is this even Prythian? I don’t know. I’ve never been here before. 

But I reached the winter court so I must be in prythian. 

There is snow. Am I still in the winter court? Did someone find me before I reached my destination? 

It’s warmer now.The snow stopped falling. Inside. I’m inside. 

Inside where? Inside a house? A prison? A dungeon? 

There is laughter. A house. 

Then the laughter stops. I think I hear footsteps. And voices. Females and males. 

They rush and whisper. Some sound agitated, then a female voice silences them all. 

“Other.......out.....blood....” she speaks and I can’t hear. Blood. BLOOD!! 

I gasp and pull air into my lungs. Breath. Breath. Breath. Breath. 

Hands. Hands touch me. They have picked up weapons. Warriors. Am I among warriors? Am I among Illyrians? 

I peel my eyes open. Cursebreaker. Feyre. The high lady of night court. Night court. I’m in the night court territory. 

I relax. Safety. I’m safe. And Alcina is safe. 

I curl up on the soft surface that is beneath me. Someone tucks my hair behind my ears. 

I let them. It’s okay. I am where I should be. I think I’m shaking. Someone covers me with something warm, a blanket. 

I try to move. Speak. Do something. A hand smooths down my hair. It’s quite. No one speaks. No one moves. Except for me. 

I shift and hands support me. Feyre. Or Morrigan. The morrigan. I remember her. She doesn’t remember me. I had seen her before- wounded, scarred, ruins of battle on her body. She didn’t see me then.

I force my eyes to open more. I see males. Three of them. All in black. One of them has to be the high lord. 

I reach out my hand. Towards what? I don’t know. I need them to listen. I need them to see. But I can’t tell. Because I don’t know. 

“Scars......” I whisper.

“What?” Someone asks. I try to speak again but my throats is dry. I think it’s bleeding.

“Get some water.” A female whispers. Footsteps move away and return. They lift my head and bring water near my mouth. I gulp down the entire thing.

I breath heavily for a minute before taming my breath again.

“Scars...Blood.” I pant. Now, I can open my eyes. I blink in the brightness.

“It’s okay. Breath.” The female sitting by my side speaks. “Feyre.” I hold her hand. One if her hands is supporting me.

“Yes.” She frowns. “Where do you live? Near the ocean? Cassian will-” she points at one of the males. He has wings.

“No.” I breath. “I-” I need her to listen. “They are gone.”

She frowns. “Who are gone?” Another female asks. Morrigan.

“My parents. They are dead.” I answer. Tears sting my eyes. I blink them back. “And I need you to listen. All of you.” I sweep a glance at all of them. All three of the males have wings. I know Rhysand. I just got to know Cassian. The third one is-

It’s him.

HE’S HERE!

“You.” I point at him. He looks like this is the first time someone has spoken to him. All eyes turn towards him.

“Azriel?” Morrigan says.

“I saw you.” I don’t know if they will trust me.

“I bought you here. You were unconscious.” He replies.

“No. I’ve been seeing you for a year now.” I shake my head. The other male- Rhysand- the high lord, speaks this time.

“What do you mean you’ve been seeing him for a year now?” He questions. Azriel keeps his eyes on me. They are all looking at me.

“I have visions. For the last eleven months I’ve been seeing him.” I answer.

“You had a snake.” I address him again. “What were you doing there? In the Reapersbrook?”

“Reapersbrook?” He frowns. “I don’t know any such place. You are clearly ill. Rest. We can talk about your family later.”

“They’re dead.” I whisper. “They killed them.”

“Who killed them?” Morrigan asks.

“The Iedosy.” I mumble.

“Who is that?” Cassian inquires.

“They have been trying to-” I paused, partly because I didn’t want to talk and partly because my throat is dry again. “Trying to take away me or my sister.” I whisper again. You have to tell them. They are in danger. It isn’t about you.

“Did they-” Morrigan begins but I interrupt.

“No. My sister is safe.” I look at all of their faces. I’ve seen them all before.

Rhysand. Feyre. Morrigan. Cassian. Azriel. Amren.

I didn’t know Cassian’s name. Azriel- I had seen him enough in my visions.

And now, sitting here, his hazel eyes burned into my head.

They all shared a glance. I knew what it meant.

“I didn’t damage the barriers.” I mumbled. Feyre tensed.

“I just used up all my powers to travel inside the city. It’s impressive- how well protected this place is. I don’t winnow like the rest of you.”

Rhysand walked closer. “How did you get inside the city? How many people can do that?” He tried to sound like the high lord he was but I heard it all too clear. These were the words of a man who had lost too much and would do anything to secure what was left. They were all the same. 

“I understand.” I did. “-why you ask that question. This city is breathtaking.” I met his eyes. “Can I get more water?” I felt my throat closing up. He nodded. Feyre gave me another glass of water.

“You are kind, cursebreaker.” I raised my eyebrows. “Not many high fae will give a witch water. Let alone the first high lady.”

Everyone exchanged glances. “Witch?” Morrigan voiced.

“Yes, warrior. Witch. How do you think I came across all the barriers set by the high lord himself?” I took slow sips of water. “It took all my energy but I had no other option.” I shrugged.

“Witches don’t exist.” Cassian, who had studied me so far to see if I was a potential threat, spoke.

“Don’t they? Who told you that, Lord of Bloodshed?” I smiled at their sketical faces.

“Your kind was wiped out thousands of years ago.” Finally, Amren spoke.

“Maybe we survived. Maybe not all witches were wiped out.” I turned my towards her and an understanding passed between us. She nodded slightly.

“My family, and several more, have lived on our own for thousands of years.” I told them. “Well, at least they used to.” I laughed a humourless laugh.

“What happened after that? What caused witches to leave their happy lives and travel inside my home?” Rhysand questioned.

“The Iedosy emerged.” I pulled my knees closer. “They wanted to sacrifice us. To stop out “devil-worshipping”.”

“Is everyone else dead?” Cassian interrupted.

“Not everyone. Some of the weaker witches still live. That’s where my sister is.” Tears again threatened to spill bit I pushed them back.

My sister.

My beautiful, brilliant sister.

“We need help.” I started again. “And so do you.”

“We don’t need your help.” Feyre cut in.

I snorted. “Oh, you do. You do, cursebreaker.”

“Why would we need your help?”

“Because that one-” I pointed at her friend. Azriel. “Is in trouble.” They all turned towards him, except for Cassian. He kept his eyes on my every movement.

“You have done an excellent job at using shadows to your advantage, Spymaster. Now, you are being hunted for them.” His eyes widened for a second before I felt his shadows thicker around him. A cloak.

“ What do you mean hunted?” Morrigan whipped her head towards me.

“I am part shadow witch, and part blood witch.” I explained. “It means I have command over shadows and blood, if it wasn’t already clear.” I scanned their faces. “There is- there is a lot of magic that works behind it but shadow witches are extremely rare. That’s the reason the Iedosy were threatening my family to hand me over. Your friend, over here, has magic and a command over shadows. Why wouldn’t they be hunting him?”

“We can handle these people.” Feyre said. “We don’t need your help.”

“You think your magic is the same as a witch’s magic?” I cocked an eyebrow. “We are forged different, Feyre. You can hold them with force, not by magic. That too, for a little while.”

“How can we-” She again said but this time Amren interrupted her.

“The witch is right. Our magic comes from the couldron. Their comes from a force far greater than that. From whatever forged that couldron. Whatever saw it fit to let the couldron exist.” She stepped forward.

Rhysand hesitated. He trusted Amren, that much was clear.

“How do we know there are not more of her kind travelling here right now? If their power is greater than ours then we should secure our borders.” Cassian countered.

“Don’t you understand? There is no one to travel. No one left to attack you or your borders. The only one left are the weaker witch families and they don’t care about us. They don’t care whether we live or die. I had to give them every single thing I owned to let my sister stay.” I snapped. “They are not the targets because they don’t have powers worth stealing. They just want to stay out of this as we burn. And they will stay out of this while you burn.” I think I’m shaking now.

“Will your armies- the illyrians- fight by your side? After this war? After the loss in this war? Do they trust you? Will they sacrifice themselves?”

“Why should we trust you?” Feyre narrowed her eyes at me bit I could see I had hit a nerve.

“You are smart, Feyre. If it was only about me, I would have killed myself.” I admitted. “When I found out there was an option other than me, I had to risk my sister’s life too to come here. If the Iedosy get their hands on your friend they will unleash something worse then Amren at this world.” Rhysand’s eyebrows flew up.

The shadowsinger stared back at me from behind the shadows that masked his face.

“What exactly is this something?” He asked.

“Lucifer.”


	2. Chapter 2

I miss the forest and my house. The tree roots covered by moss and the dark leaves filled with all forms of birds. I miss the kitchen and the scent of spices wafting out of it. The dried roots and herbs and the potions and perfumes Alcina would make. I miss waking up and finding my father trying his best at breakfast. I miss seeing my family. Alive and Happy.

Hollowness dwelled in my heart as I looked down at the city bursting with colours. It was solstice and the entire place was bursting with activity. Even the people inside the house were busy.

I had just seen Feyre and Cassian drunk in the living room. Then The Shadowsinger came in and I picked up my plate of food and came back to my room. Of course, I was never alone in the house, someone was always here to keep an eye on me even after I had told them I was too drained to even stand up for too long. Sometimes I could feel the shadows spying on me.

After our little chat and finding out that they didn’t know anything about Lucifer, I passed out again and woke up in this room. They considered sending me somewhere else but then decided that it was better to keep a close eye on me.

So here I was, in this room, while the sounds of celebrations were starting downstairs. I decided it was time I carried out our traditions for solstice too.

I slowly pushed the door open and peeked outside. Seeing nobody, I reached the stairs and spotted everyone gathered downstairs.

A seer is amongst them. 

I descended the stairs and tapped Morrigan, who was standing the closest, on the shoulder.

She raised her eyebrows, “ Yes?”

“I was wondering if I could find a little bit of yarrow and bones of an animal.” I shifted from one foot to another.

“Bones of an animal?” Cassian rested his gaze on me. “What are you going to do? Put a curse on all of us?”

I grinned. “Does that scare you, warrior-heart?”

He returned a crooked smile. “Perhaps if you-”

“Alright, that’s enough.” Morrigan interrupted. “Why do you need yarrow and bones?” She questioned.

“It’s a tradition. For solstice and for the troubled souls on my parents.” I sincerely answered.

“We do have yarrow.” The seer provided. She wasn’t here before. Who is she?

“I will take you to the kitchen. I can’t say you will find bones here.” Morrigan pointed towards a door.

I nodded and followed her. “How does this tradition work?” She pushed the kitchen door open.

“I will have to arrange the bones in a specific pattern and yarrow will help in the “bringing peace to the souls part."” I explained. I had nothing to hide. “There are spells, of course. I don’t think you would be interested in them.”

She leaned against a counter while I looked through the cabinets. “So, you are part shadow witch and part blood witch? “

“Yes.”

“Hmm. What about your sister? What is her name?”

“Alcina.”

“What kind of witch is she?” She tapped her fingers against the marble.

“ She is a green witch.” I crouched down. “That means she can manipulate trees and green things. She is also exceptionally good at perfumes.” I smiled at the memory of her working in our kitchen on some new scent she came up with.

“Oh.” Was the only reply I got.

“I found it.” I held up a small purple pouch. Why did they have yarrow in the kitchen? I ignored the question. Maybe it was used in cooking something. I wasn’t familiar with the eating habits of Faeries.

“For the bones....” Morrigan bit her lower lip.

“I’ll take her to the mountains.” Azriel stood near the door. “There must be some dead animals there.”

“I can do that too.” Morrigan offered. She was worried and rightfully so, if I was in her place I would be scared too. 

“We will be back soon. You can join the others.” Azriel reassured her. I could see her debating with herself for a while before she reluctantly nodded and walked out of the door.

The spymaster made his way over to me and held out his hand. “We will have to fly.”

I tucked the purple bag in a pocket and followed him to the balcony. Cold wind prickled at my skin and I shivered. How am I going to survive flying? 

"Can you carry me?" I blabbered. Azriel raised his eyebrows in amusement and I internally kicked myself. 

"I find that slightly insulting." He stepped closer to me, large wings now outstretched. I decided to look anywhere but at him as I wrapped my arms around his neck. 

He lifted me up in one smooth motion and soon enough, we were flying high above the city. When I looked down the houses looked like they were made for little dolls. The streets were filled with civilians. Kids ran around playing while their parents shopped or worked at their own shops. I realised with a start how big and bright this place was and how little I knew about the world despite having lived in it for 500 years. 

My eyes starting stinging and my face grew colder as we flew and I gripped harder at Azriel's shoulders, clinging on to whatever warmth I could find. I could see the mountains looming in front of us as the flapping of his wings grew slower. By the time we reached the mountains and I let go of his shoulders, I was sure I had left bruises on them.

“Maybe I can just spirit the next time.” I pulled my hood up. Azriel remained silent.

The moon was our only source of light and snow started settling on my eyelashes. I scanned the ground for any trace of a dead animal. Azriel moved a bit of snow to look for any bones that were buried in the snow as I wandered farther.

“Careful.” He said over the wind. “There are a lot of dangerous animals here. Stay where I can see you.”

I smiled. “A wise witch knows not to be afraid of anything in a forest because she is the most dangerous thing out there.” He didn’t reply so I looked under a tree and between the tangled roots.

“Tell me more about this Lucifer you were talking about.” He spoke.

“The forgotten gods, or should I say “God”, because there is only one, is where the story begins.” I rubbed my hands together and blew into them.

“There is only one God?” The shadowsinger raised his eyebrows.

“Yes. They created angels. Souls that were pure and balanced and made heaven. One of the angels, their favourite one, grew proud of the fact that they were the best. Pride is a sin so God banished them from heaven and they created hell. The place where our worst nightmares reside and take form.” I explained.

“And this banished angel is called Lucifer?”

“They have a lot of names.”

“They?”

“God, angels, demons, the devil- Lucifer, are neither male nor females. They are both. Somedays they are neither. That’s why we call them they.” I almost tripped over a black shape that was hidden in the shadows.

“What was that?” He asked.

“I think....it’s a dead animal.” I poked it and my hand was stained red when I Drew it back. “Yes. It is dead.”

Azriel walked over to where I was standing. He kneeled down next to the carcass and pulled it out of the ground. “It’s a fox.” He examined it.

“I can take the bones out.” I offered. “I’ve been doing it for 5oo years.”

He shuffled backwards as I touched the animal and it’s body twisted and the bones crackled.

“What are you doing?” He looked at the fox and then at me.

“Blood magic. There is still blood inside the body.” I gritted my teeth when I felt my energy drain. Crossing the barriers of the city had exhausted me.

He observed quietly and the blood collected under the skin of the fox and pushed a bone out with immense pressure. The flesh separated and a blood drenched bone poked out. The snow turned red around it and I winced one last time before the body split open.

I placed a hand on my chest and sucked in large gulps of air. When I finally looked up, Azriel had wiped the bones with a piece of cloth.

“Thank you.” I whispered. He didn’t say anything but handed them to me.

I stood up and dusted off snow from my cloak.

“Will you need anything else?” He asked as I stepped over the torn apart flesh.

“No. This will be enough.” I shook my head. “Let’s go back or Cassian will think I murdered you.”

“He knows it won’t be that easy.”

“It will be.” I smiled faintly. The shadows halted for a moment before Azriel offered me his hand once again and the dark engulfed us.

Once again I was reminded of how bright the streets of velaris were when we winnowed right outside of the house. It would take me a lot of time to adjust to lights and crowds after living in a forest for 500 years.

Azriel pushed the door and I rushed in to protect myself from the cold. Inside everyone was sitting on the sofas. Feyre narrowed her eyes at me but I excused myself before anyone could ask me any questions.

Shutting the door behind myself, I pulled out the bones and yarrow and put them in the middle of the floor. The thick blood coating the bones stained the carpet. I washed my hands and face before placing candles and some of the crystals I had managed to take from home on the floor.

I think it took me a little over an hour to finish everything because of my drained magic but when I was done I could feel calmer. I could almost feel my mother caressing me as her face flashed before me.

A tear slipped past. Then another. And another.

I curled up on the floor and clamped a hand on my mouth to stop myself from sobbing. My entire body was shaking with each sob and breath. I would never see my mother in the garden again. I would never see my father crushing herbs and chopping wood again.

Alcina.

She would never see her favourite perfumes again. She would never have to sneak in through the window because she had gone to see Cassandra and was late. She would never see Cassandra again.

With my throat and head hurting I fell asleep on the floor and, once again, was welcomed by the cold, hard whispers.

“Welcome, my dearest Lillith.”


	3. Chapter 3

It was still dark when I woke up. My body was sore from having slept on the floor as I tried to get up but my hands gave out. The visions had sucked all the energy from my body as they always did, except this time, I had no-one who would bring me food and tuck me into bed. I breathed deeply, pushed myself up and held onto a table. Slowly, I stood up and grabbed the door. When my body finally stopped shaking from exhaustion and cold, I yanked the door open and stepped into the silent hallway. 

Fire was crackling downstairs and I saw Cassian and Morrigan sleeping on the sofas. I scanned the place to see if someone was awake but thankfully I was alone. Remembering the way to the kitchen, I stopped before the door and pushed it slightly. Cassian stirred in his sleep but didn't wake up. I sighed and entered the kitchen to look for something to eat. 

I was looking around the cabinets when a velvety voice travelled over my shoulder. "Looking for something?"

"Food. I'm hungry." I answered.

" Why didn't you try using a candle? It's much easier to see things that way." The spymaster of the night court suggested.

"The dark never bothered me, shadowsinger." I answered, matter-of-factly.

"You should have had dinner with us."  
"I was busy." I reminded him. I also didn't want to bother you people when you were celebrating.

"I know. With your.....traditions. I can make something?" He frowned.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Here I thought illyrians were only good in the battlefield." 

"Well, you thought wrong. I can, in fact, cook a few things. You should sit somewhere, you look ready to collapse." He looked me up and down. 

I considered this for a second and then walked over to the opposite side of the counter and hoisted myself up on a stool. I folded my arms and rested my chin on one of them. Azriel rummaged around for a while before coming over to where I was sitting with a pan and a few glass jars and bottles. I noticed this was the first time I had seen him dressed casually, not that I had known him for long. He was not wearing his leathers but rather a simple shirt that was ruffled. His hair were sticking out in different directions and his cheeks were tinted red. He ran a hand in his hair to adjust them but they remained in their initial state. 

"Why are you up so late?" I asked him.

" Why are you up so late?" He shot back.

" I did sleep but then I has another vision and then I woke up." I shrugged.

He remained silent for a while, the only sound of him mixing something in the pan. "Was this vision about me?" He quietly asked.

"More or less. Not really, but I did see you." 

"What was I doing?" He pulled out a spoon from a drawer.

" Nothing. You never do anything. You are always in the Reapersbrook with a serpent and I feel like I'm tied up and I need to stop something but I don't know what exactly." I explained.

"What is Reapersbrook?" He sprinkled salt on whatever he was making and left it to cook by itself.

" It's the crossroad between heaven and hell. That's where it's decided whether you will go to hell or heaven." 

"Who decides that?" He sat besides me and I felt my own shadows move as if to make space for his.

" That, I don't know. Maybe god. Maybe the devil." I admitted and let his shadows become calm. I noticed his shadows were darker and more intense than mine.

" Oh." He bit his lower lip. "So I just stand with a serpent?" 

"Most of the time, yes. Sometimes, when I yell, you turn around and stare at me." I nodded.

"Do I look good?" He smiled faintly.

I snorted. "Not when I'm terrified that you might be the key to hell."

He shook his head but didn't say anything for a while so I decided to look around. 

"That look like Nyxin." I said before I could stop myself. 

Azriel frowned at my words as I tried to think of excuses to not tell him that I was talking about his hands.   
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. The Iedosy should have just sacrificed you.

" I- I promise I didn't mean to. I don't know why I said that. I'm just dumb and tired, I'm sorry." I put up my hands and tried to get up but failed. 

"Said What? I don't even know what you are talking about." 

"Your- um- your hands. And I know it's very rude, I don't know why I said that." I again apologized.

" It's alright. I'm used to people commenting on them." He shrugged as I wondered what kind of "comments" he was talking about. "What is Nyxin?" He asked, breaking my train of thoughts.

" Huh? Oh, that. Nyxin is the brightest constillation in the north. Witches worship it for safety and prosperity. Your scar-" I pointed at one of them near his right thumb. "- looks a lot like it."

" I didn't know there was a constillation like that in the north." He mumbled and traced his scar. A ghost of a smile appeared at his lips.

" It can only be seen if you know where to look."

He hummed a response and then glanced at the food. I wonder if he's thinking about leaving me hungry after I opened my god forsaken mouth. I wouldn't be surprised if he decided to make me an ingridient for his breakfast tomorrow.

He inspected the food for a while before bringing the spoon to his mouth and tasting it. 

I sat with my mouth clamped shut while he pulled out a plate and a cup. He poured hot water from a kettle to make, what I assume is, tea. I just looked out of the window while he worked on the food. I already felt bad that he was cooking for me and then I went ahead and commented on his scars. Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. Maybe the Iedosy didn't want to sacrifice me for my power afterall.

"Here." He pushed a plate in front of me. The scent of butter and garlic made my mouth water. "Eat before you faint."

"This looks absolutely delicious." I picked up a spoon and twisted it between my finger. "And that-" I pointed the spoon at him. "- is a huge complement because nobody knows how to cook better than a witch." 

"Is that because of your magic?" He poured some tea for me and then for himself before taking a seat.

"Yes, but also because cooking is one art that witches treasure the most. It's the same as brewing a potion or casting a spell- you need to balance things." I took my first bite and almost moaned.

"This is almost as good as the food I make." I smiled at him. Parts of his face were cloaked with darkness but at the same time, it felt like I could see him clearer under the light from a single candle. 

"I just tried my best." He took a sip from his cup. "It is actually the best food I've made in a long time." 

"So you are usually not so good at cooking?" 

"Not that I cook much."

" Right." I nodded. "You have a lot of warrior things to do." 

"Spy things." He corrected.

I let a few seconds pass before I spoke again. "It's...different to hear you talk so much. You never talk in my visions and I've never seen you talk so much to others too." 

He swirled his tea for a while before answering. "It is different." 

Then, as if deciding something, he stood up, "I'm going to sleep. You can go when you finish eating. We are leaving tomorrow." He announced.

My hand halted at his words, "Leaving? To where?" 

"Your home." With this Azriel left me sitting alone in the kitchen with my food and a lot of questions.


	4. Chapter 4

I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night.   
Memories plaughed my mind as I curled up on my bed finding comfort in my own shadows. The faces of my mother and father flashed before my eyes. Their smiles burned into my head with such intensity, I wanted to forget everything and sleep for months until everything was over. 

The weight of being alone in a land I barely knew pressed upon me. I was surrounded by people who didn't know me and would turn against me at any moment. They had no reason to trust me. Faeries. People that I had only ever seen from afar, and now, I was living in the home of the most powerful fae to ever walk on the earth. 

Under normal circumstances, I could hold my own against a few fae but now my magic was nothing but a whisper of what it used to be. Months of travel, hiding from the Iedosy, providing for myself, grief and the ancient borders were powerful enough to suck out my power. I was vulnerable but I had to convince these people to help me. There would be no Night Court to protect if the Iedosy won- I wanted to scream in their faces. 

I was scared of going back to sleep after my visions. I had seen hell, this time it would be heaven. Demons, angels, demons, angels- The cycle continued.   
Many would argue that the angels would be kind and beautiful to look at. I would laugh in their faces. 

I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't notice that the sun has risen. The orange and red pooled into the room and filled it with a soft glow. My shadows allowed me to peek at them and I threw my blanket off. 

Azriel had told me we were going to my house. Why? I decided to take a bath and change into new clothes. Feyre had given me some of her clothes since I had only the pair that I was wearing. 

After I got out of the bath, I slid into my clothes. The sun was above the horizon now and I looked out of the window. Snow was settling on the branches of tress which were bend with the weight. A few people were in the streets but most of the city was still sleeping. I would have thought everyone in the house was sleeping too if I wasn't feeling a lot more awake and at peace after the warm bath.   
I felt him before he knocked gently on the door. 

"Good morning, spymaster." I opened the door and greeted him.

"Good morning, witch." He bobbed his head. 

"Leaving, are we?" I raised my eyebrows, surveying his fighting leathers and his sword. 

"Truthteller." He provided.

"The sword that killed The King of Hybern." I replied, recognising it.

"You seem to know a lot about all of us." Now it was his turn to raise his eyebrows.

"Yes, well-" I closed the door behind me. "- I rather enjoy getting to know about places and people I might never meet." 

We reached the base of the stairs and I saw cassian still asleep on one of the couches. 

"Who is going with us?" I inquired.

"Cass would love to come but, unfortunately, he can't accompany us, as you might have seen." He tossed a glance at his friend who was softly snoring.

" So it is only us?" I asked.

Azriel nodded. I hummed and  
looked back up where Rhysand had his eyes fixed on me. I gave him my best smile but as I expected, got nothing in return. His cold eyes moved from me to his brother in arms and back to me.

"Is it a illyrian thing to stare at people quietly?" I whispered.

"Not really. Most of the time it's my job." Azriel said.

" To stare?"

"....And a few other things." I could have sworn a his eyes sparkled. This was the Spymaster of the Night Court. One of the best illyrian warrior.

" I wonder what they might be.." I let the words hang between us.

Azriel turned towards me once we were in the garden. "It's time to go."

" Are we going to fly? It will take us weeks." 

"No. You are going to take me to your house. Where the rest of the witches live." 

"Used to live." I corrected him. "They are dead now. Only the weaker ones live."

He said nothing so I took a deep breath. "Take me out of this city. I can't travel past the borders again." 

Once again, he lifted me up and I wrapped my arms around his neck. The wind was less cold this time, or maybe I was feeling better, but it wasn't long before we were outside the city. 

"Are you sure you can travel with me? Azriel asked.

" I'm weaker than I was before so we will have to stop a few times but other than that, yes. I can do that." I dusted off the snow from my hair. "But you have to promise me something."

He frowned. "What?" 

"That you will not talk to anyone but me. There might be some people around, some weak witches looking for scraps of gold in the burned down houses, but you can not talk to them. Also, I will not show you where my sister is. I hope you can understand why." 

He considered that for a moment, his sharp eyes burning through mine, and then nodded stiffly. "You have my word." 

I smiled, relieved, " Close your eyes." 

"Why?"

" Truly, you ask a lot of questions." I sighed but answered. "You might catch a glimpse of things and beings that exist between layers of time and they don't appreciate being stared at by nosy spies." I explained as casually as I could. 

I held out my hand and he hesitantly reached over. As his callaused fingers wrapped around mine, I allowed myself the luxury of thinking about last night. I wonder how many stars had made their way on his hands and were waiting to be identified.

It didn't take long before we were gone from the outskirts of Velaris and making our way towards my home. Or what used to be my home. 

I stopped in what I think was the spring court. "You can open your eyes now." I let go of his hand. Azriel looked around and conformed my thoughts. 

"The spring court. Are we going into the human realm?" 

"Past that. After humans hunted us and fae used us for our power, we decided we had had enough of both species." I sat down on a rock. For the first time, despite having sneaked into Prythian a few times, I enjoyed the breeeze. "Is it always like this here?" I asked.

Azriel kicked a rock " That's how the court works." 

"That must be very miserable then." 

"Miserable? It's spring. Why would it be miserable?" He tilted his head to a side.

"Did you enjoy the war, shadowsinger?" I raised an eyebrow. 

"War is not something to be enjoyed." A muscle twitched in his jaw.

" Exactly. Because you can have peace. Why go to war when given the option of peace? If you have to do something, there is no option anymore. There is no joy." I stood up. "Spring, while fundamentally pleasant, would be miserable if you can not experience any other weather." 

Azriel's eyes followed my every movement with such intensity I felt like I might cumbust on the spot. 

"Let"s keep going, shall we?" I offered him my hand again.

This time he didn't hesitate and closed his eyes. 

It wasn't long before we were thrust into a forest. Azriel opened his eyes. "Where are we?" 

"Not too far now." I swatted a spider away. "Careful, there are giant spiders." 

"I'm sure I can survive a few spiders." He mumbled. "Seems like you have a tendancy to underestimate me." If I didn't know any better, I would think a toddler was complaining that his parents were not letting him play near fire. 

I snorted. "I know. But they are poisonous and you are new." 

He just looked around at the trees and decided that leaves were the most interesting thing ever. After a moment he asked, "Why don't you want to bring your sister along? She could be in danger with The Iedosy here." 

"No. She's a green witch and, while she's brilliant, she's not what they need. The key to hell is in my hands." I sighed.

"The gates can only be opened by sacrificing you?" He traced the footprints of a bear.

" And you." I reminded him. His hands halted and he returned to his impressive height. 

"There must be other shadowsingers. The are rare but not impossible." He argued.

" You are the only one powerful enough. Most shadowsingers die early becasue they can't harness their powers and their own shadows choke them or drive them insane. That's also the reason for having only one shadow witch who is alive." 

When he didn't speak I decided it was time to reach our destination now. 

Finally, I opened my eyes to see the mass grave my house has become.


	5. Chapter 5

I think we just stood there for a while, taking in the burned down houses and crumbling wells. I think someone gasped. I think it was me. But that didn't matter. What mattered was that I was back. I was in my little village, if one could call a collection of thirty houses that, and not there at the same time. I was standing on graves. Graves that were there because of me. Not a single house was standing, all of them were piles of ash and whatever little bit of iron was used in making them. People had died there. Families. Elders. Friends.

I sucked in a breath and clenched my fist. No tears. Azriel didn't move either, startled perhaps. He was expecting it to be a lie. He thought there would be people. If only.

" That's where I used to live." I pointed one shaky finger towards a dark patch of land. 

I know he noticed my hand shaking but didn't comment, which I was grateful for. Without a word, he began walking towards where I had pointed. I followed suit. We stopped in front of the little gate of our front-garden, or what used to be our front garden. Now it was covered in ash and not a single flower was in sight. 

"Do you want to-" I began but a voice cut me off.

" Lillith? Lillith! It's you!" I turned around only to see a small woman running towards me.

"Mrs. Severy." I caught her arm while she cupped my face and ran her hands in my hair. 

"Oh, my darling. My poor little girl." She sobbed. "We were all very worried."   
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Severy. I couldn't tell anyone where I was going." I wiped her tears. Seeing her like this broke my heart. I didn't want anyone crying because of me anymore. I didn't want to be the reason of anyone's pain anymore. 

"I know, love. I know. Your parents..." She trailed. 

I pursed my lips, refusing to let the tears escape. "How is Alcina?" I asked instead. 

"She's great! Happy even!" She exclaimed. I forced a smile for her.

She beamed back and pulled me along with her. "I know you can't stay. I must show you where your parents-" She mumbled. She stopped short when she saw Azriel follow, noticing him for the first time. "And who are you, young man? I have never seen you before." She narrowed her eyes. 

With how silent he was, I wasn't surprised she hadn't seen him before he moved. 

I answered for him, "This is a friend, Mrs. Severy. He is helping me through all this." I placed a hand on her shoulder. 

She looked him up and down and he squirmed in his boots. "Hmm. You better not be lying to me." She pointed an accusing finger at me. "I will lock you up till hell freezes if I find out this boy is more than a friend." For all his strength and cold demeanour, Azriel turned fifty shades of red at her words, staring at Mrs. Severy wide-eyed.

I spared him the pain of making eye contact and engaged Mrs. Severy in another conversation. " You were showing me something?" I reminded her.

" Ah, yes!" She gasped. "Come, come!" She ushered me along. "You too, boy." She called Azriel. "Stop looking at her like that and put your long limbs to some use." Despite the things happening, I had to choke back a laugh as Azriel almost ran to catch up with her.

She took us down a little slope and soon we were deep into the forest again. Azriel helped Mrs. Severy down the uneven path and I followed behind, drinking in the view that I might never see again. 

We stopped at a small clearing overflowing with tulips. Mum's favourite. There, in the middle of the flowers were two tombstones. 

My legs moved mechanically and soon enough, I was standing near them.  
Florence Amberflow- my mother's name was carved in beautiful cursive on the dark marble. I kneeled down and traced the letters carefully. Murdered- because of me. Both of them were murdered because of me. So many friends were murdered because of me. Tears blurred my vision and I bit back a sob. 

I think I sat there for a long time, maybe even hours. When we had reached the village it was still early in the morning, by the time Azriel told me we should go back, the sun was blazing down on us. I wiped my tears angrily and stood up after pressing a kiss over my parents' names.   
"I want to take my sister with me." I declared. 

Azriel stared at me for a second before nodding. "Of course." 

"I-I think I should go alone." My voice shook.

He bit his lip and nodded slowly. "Fifteen minutes." 

I ran all the way over to the small cottages on the other side of the hill. Several heads turned but I pushed my way out of the crowd. Knocking on one of the doors, I waited. I was not expecting my sister to open the door herself. 

She blinked a few times before throwing herself at me. "Oh my goddness! You are okay. I'm so glad you're back." She sobbed.   
"I'm not back." I pushed her away. We could catch up later. "Take everything you can carry. You are leaving with me." She frowned. 

"But-" 

"No buts. They have taken enough from me. I refuse to give more." 

"But the charms to -" she began.

" Mother and father are dead! Dead! How useful can their charms be?" I snapped. I loved my sister and I wanted her to be near me when I would most probably die in a few months. 

"I- Yes. I'm packing my things. Wait." She hurried back inside while I tapped my foot impatiently. 

"Hurry, Alcina!" I yelled.

She appeared again, this time with a little bundle in her arms. "Let's go." She closed the door behind herself. 

It didn't take us long to get back to the clearing where I had left Azriel. He took one sweeping look at Alcina before he wrapped his hand around mine and we were gone. 

This time, thanks to Alcina, we stopped only when we were right outside Velaris. 

"This is.." My sister threw a questioning glance my way.

" Velaris. The home of the High Lord of the Night Court." I explained. 

"Prythian? This is where you found the shadowsinger?" She looked around in wonder. 

Azriel raised his eyebrows and I tapped her shoulder. "Alcina, this-" I thrust my chin towards him. "- is the shadowsinger. The Spymaster of Night Court." 

For the first time, she looked at the shadows wrapped around him which looked similar to mine. "Oh, Hello." She bobbed her head. 

Azriel returned her greeting. 

"We can talk when we are inside?" I shifted from one foot to another. "Can you carry us both?" 

"Are those wings?" Alcina gasped. "They are beautiful." She smiled at the shadowsinger. 

"You should carry her before me." I told azriel, who was nervously moving his wings.

" Yes. Come." He said to my sister who readily walked up to him.

After they were gone, I heaved a sigh and sat down on the snow, not caring about cold. I had done nothing but my body screamed everytime I so much as moved. 

I had to tell them everything today. I have to prepare them for when the Iedosy strike becasue they will. They don't fear faeries and even if they did, it wouldn't stop them.

My mother and father didn't die in vain. I will not let them unleash hell upon innocent people. 

I was lost in thoughts when Azriel returned. He touched my shoulder and I almost jumped out of my skin. 

"I didn't see you." I placed a hand on my heart."Is Alcina-" 

He shook his head before I could finish."She refused to go inside without you." 

"Understandable." I mumbled.

Once again, I was clinging to the spymaster as we flew over Velaris. I could never get tired of how beautiful this city was. I had always wondered why they kept the city hidden, now I understood. Everything was so beautiful and alive, losing this would be the greatest loss.

I spotted my sister outside the door of the house. 

She frowned at me and I almost laughed. She never liked meeting new people alone. It would make her extremely nervous if we had guests over. 

When we finally reached there I squeezed her hand and she gulped before Azriel pushed open the door. Inside, the heat filled up my bones quickly. I wanted nothing more than to curl up with a blanket. 

"Who is that?" Someone screeched. My sister immediately froze. I looked around to see Morrigan standing near the dining table with one hand on top of it. 

"Hello, Morrigan." I greeted her. Her eyes didn't leave my sister's face who smiled at her.

"This is Alcina. I told you about her." I placed a hand on her shoulder. 

"O-oh." She mumbled. "Welcome." Morrigan smiled feebly at my sister. 

"Thank you. You have a beautiful house." Alcina looked around. 

"It's not my house." Morrigan tucked a strand of her hair behind her ears. "I usually live in the Court of Dreams." 

Alcina's smile got brighter. "The Court of Dreams? It sounds wonderful." 

"It is. Would you like to see it?" I had to blink twice to convince myself that Morrigan's cheeks were tinted red. The Morrigan was blushing. 

"Of course." Alcina squealed. 

"I would love to let you ladies continue-" Cassina appeared from a corridor. "- but I think having another witch in the house is not a good sign." 

My sister's smile fell and her eyes hardened. "We are here to help."

"Your sister told me that, witch." Cassian said. "Help with what? How do we know you are speaking the truth?" This time he looked at Azriel who had been standing in a corner. 

"It wasn't a lie." Azriel provided.

"Are you happy now?" I asked. "I have no reason to harm you, Cassian. I only want your help. There will be no Night Court to protect if the Iedosy succeeded." 

His eyes lost their fire but he didn't let his body show that. A warrior thorough and thorough. 

"If you can call everyone of importance, we can explain." Cassian stubbornly held my gaze for a while before he disappeared again. Hopefully, to bring the High Lord and Lady.

Alcina squeezed my hand for reassurance and that was the only strength I needed.


	6. Chapter 6

Alcina did most of the explaining with me providing information whenever necessary. I just didn't have it in me to talk much after seeing my parent's grave and all the deaths weighted down on me. Someone gave me a drink which I was thankful for but didn't bother looking up to see who it was. 

"-after she left." Alcina stopped explaining.

"Lily?" She gently touched my elbow. I smiled faintly, hearing the nickname after quite a while.

"Yes?" I looked up. "Is there something anyone wants to ask?" I shifted on the couch. 

Rhysand and Feyre didn't say anything, probably communicating through their bond.

Amren sat forward, " Where did the Ideosy come from? Surely, there must be a place where they live." 

"Nobody knows where they live. Some older witches say that before I was born, they used to steal and trick people into giving them money. I don't know how true that is." 

She nodded, her silver eyes moving like reading invisible sentences. "And they have never attacked during the day?" 

"Never. They take refuge in the dark forest." 

Her gaze met Cassian's and he moved from his place near the window. "How many of them are there?" 

"They all have numbers inked on their left wrists. I have seen one with the number six thousand. There might be more than that, but this is all I've see." I replied. 

"How do you know they don't just live in the forest near your house?" He interrogated me furthur. 

I forwned. "I have lived there for five hundred years. I may not be a commander of armies but I'm not stupid. I have gone looking for places where they might be living." 

"I didn't mean that. I was just asking." He mumbled. 

Morrigan interrupted us, "If witches have so much knowledge about god and the devil, how do they not know what can stop the devil?" 

I couldn't help but snort, "The devil works in more ways than one, Morrigan." I leaned back, remembering the night of my twelfth birthday. "I have tried that too. Only once, in desperation. Foolish that I was, I threw myself into the devil's home. That was the gravest mistake I have ever made besides being born." I shrugged at the last part. 

Somewhere behind me a spymaster's shadows curled around mine. 

"She was there for months." Alcina added. "Struck between hell and earth. Her shadows would sometimes spread throughout the house when she was extreme scared."

Feyre questioned, "How? Did you see anything of importance?" 

"My mind was in hell but my body was stuck on earth." I set my eyes on her. "What could I possibly find out? Hell is not the same for everyone. Your hell-" my eyes flickered to her mate. "- is different than mine, cauldron-blessed."

Rhysand looked between me and his mate for a moment before breaking the silence, "So, in conclusion, we know close to nothing about The Ideosy?" 

"We know there are at least six thousand of them." Cassian commented. 

Rhysand's mouth twitched upwards but didn't form a smile. "We have enough force to stop them, don't we?" 

"No." I told them. "One witch, in good health,-" I added, referring to myself. "Can face twenty fae and walk away unharmed." 

"That is true." Amren nodded, lost in thoughts. "Witches are much more powerful. I won't be surprised if Lillith can defeat Rhys."

"Do witches have no weakness?" Morrigan forwned. "If we don't know their weakness, we can't face them. The Ideosy are a rank of witches, after all." 

"Not a rank. We don't have ranks, just someone has less powers and some have more." Alcina provided. "The Ideosy refused to live with us after we escaped the mass slaughter of our kind and were outcasts. They believed in restricting magic to use it for foul things." She ran her finger along a flower pot by her side and the roses bloomed within seconds. "They wanted to use it as weapon, not as a blessing." 

I nodded. "We are daughters of the moon, not the devil's plaything." 

Silence settled over all of us. I closed my eyes and my sister held my hand once again. Her energy flowed through me, the power of nature and healing. A coolness spread In my body and I relaxed. 

Rhysand was the first to speak up. "Cassian and I have to leave." He stood up and looked at his mate. "We should be back soon." Feyre smiled at him and nodded. 

After they were gone, Amren excused herself. 

"She's not fond of people." Morrigan said, probably to my sister. I just leaned against Alcina and bathed in the comfort.

"I don't suppose a lot of people here are." She replied.

"Not really." Morrigan said, a little too hurriedly. "I am always around and in need of company.....and there are others like cassian and Azriel." 

Azriel simply sat down on a couch beside me as I opened my eyes slightly.   
Alcina hummed in response and I let go of her hand, not wanting to tire her too much. 

"Are you better now?" Morrigan asked me. "You looked half dead when you and Az came back from the mountain." Concern marred her features. 

Alcina replied before I could. "She could be dying and not tell you." She glared at me. "Have you even eaten since morning?" 

"I just woke up and dragged my decaying corpse out of bed." I smiled lazily. 

That reminded me- Azriel has not eaten anything either.

The sky was already the colour of spilled wine now as the sun was taking it's leave for the day. 

"You are the worst." Alcina glared at me.

I gasped and put a hand on my heart. "I thought you loved me!" I wiped a fake tear. 

"Not when you are constantly trying to kill yourself. " She jabbed me in the ribs. "I will tell the servants to cook something." Morrigan said and got up to go to the kitchen. 

When she was in the kitchen Azriel said, "One of you will have to live in the Court of Dreams. Unless you want to stay in the same room." He looked at me and Alcina.

We shared a look before speaking, "It can be dangerous for her to be in the same room as me. If you could arrange for her or me to live somewhere else, that would be wonderful." 

He frowned and I explained, "If I'm having a vision, I lose control over my shadows and they have the tendency to choke other people." 

"Oh." Was the only reply I got. 

"I can live in the city." Alcina provided. "If you can point me to someplace I can find quarters to live, I will be perfectly fine." 

"That won't be necessary. " Morrigan said from where she was returning from the kitchen. "She can live with me in The court of Dreams. "

"But that must be too much trouble for all of you." My sister argued.

"Not at all." Morrigan shook her head, as if offended. "There is plenty of room up there." 

"Up there?" Alcina frowned. 

"It's on the mountain." She told her. 

"Mountain?" Her eyes lit up. Oh no. "I would love to be there." 

"For the love of god, don't do that here. I'm begging you." I whispered. She played me no attention and just returned Morrigan's smile. 

"Do what?" Azriel asked. 

"You will see." I smiled and shook my head while one of the servants bought out our food. 

"Faeries have different eating habits." Alcina frowned, looking at the food. "But it smells delicious." 

"Do witches not eat the food that we do?"Morrigan took a bite out of her food. 

"Not this. Cooking is an art that witches cherish." My sister replied. 

She continued to tell them more about witches, with Morrigan asking questions after questions. I finished my food quickly and put my head on Alcina's shoulder. I was feeling so much better than I did this morning, all thanks to my sister. 

Sometimes, Azriel would glance at me worriedly but, gathering that he wouldn't like me to point it out, I didn't speak about it.

Trusting my sister's safety to Morrigan, I returned to my room. Opening the window, I sat on the edge and let my legs dangle. 

The city of Velaris was breathtaking under the cloak of darkness and I allowed myself to forget about everything for a while. The burning houses, my mother shoving me and my sister out through the backdoor, my father casting curses and hexes seemed like something that happened in a nightmare that I would forget. 

I was interrupted after a while though, but I didn't mind. I waved my hand and the shadows pulled at the door, letting it open. Azriel, his hand mid-knock, froze for a moment before stepping into the room. 

"You are not as silent as you think, spymaster." I joked.

"A lot of corpses would tell you otherwise." I could almost hear the smirk in his voice. 

"Alas, they can not." I patted the place next to me. "I imagine you are not afraid of heights." 

He probably debated with himself for a while, but eventually sat down beside me. 

The moonlight seemed to bend around the beautiful planes of his face as he gazed down at the city. "Do you miss the mountains where you used to live?"

A carefully phrased question.

"Yes." I truthfully answered. "They were beautiful before." 

"Would you go back there?" He looked at me, hazel eyes boring into mine. 

"If I live long enough to do that." I shrugged. "I would rebuild our home." I smiled. 

Even when I looked at the city, Azriel's eyes never left my face. Minutes passed and he didn't look away, as if he could see past my skin and into my soul. 

When he did speak, his words took me off-guard. "Tell me more about the constellations."


	7. Chapter 7

There was a bounce in her steps when my sister met me the next morning. She engulfed me in a bone crushing hug and excitement radiated off of her when she spoke, " Everything is so much more beautiful from up there! This place is so....full of colour!" 

"I know." I greeted Morrigan who was right behind Alcina. 

She returned my gesture, "Where are the others?" She craned her neck around.

"They are training." I told her. I had seen Feyre, Cassian, Azriel and Rhysand outside just a while ago. 

"Did you eat today?" Alcina narrowed her eyes at me.

"Yes, ma'am." I bowed and gestured for her to follow Morrigan who was already heading towards where everyone was. 

She smacked me on the arm but dragged me with herself.   
Outside, Rhysand and Azriel were sparring and Cassain was training with Feyre who was busy throwing punches at him. He swerved and dodged them rapidly. 

No-one payed us any mind as we sat on the side. The grass under Alcina's feet became greener and started growing but she would stop it after a few moments. Morrigan watched in fascination as the tree behind us began radiating with life and the small flowers near the base of the tree bloomed. 

Alcina hummed to herself while watching the beautiful dance of death in front of her, completely oblivious to the butterflies and grasshoppers that I had to swat away. Luckily, having grown up with her, it was not difficult for me. Most of them were scared of my shadows and scattered away. 

Soon after, Feyre and Cassian stopped and walked over to us. Feyre wiped the sweat on her forehead and smiled at all three of us while Cassian decided to start a conversation with my sister. 

"Hello, Witch." 

"Hello."Alcina replied.

"Do you two-" he thrust his chin towards me. "-have any experience in hand to hand combat?" 

"I don't have a lot of personal experience.We lived in secluded areas. Lillith here has been in quite a lot of mortal danger though." 

Cassian picked up a sword that was resting on the ground near us. "Let's test it, shall we?" 

He was talking about me but as soon as he tilted the sword in his hands, a gust of wind rammed into his body and he lost his balance due to the suddenness of it. He stumbled backwards and Alcina threw her head back and laughed.

Morrigan and Feyre looked from us to Cassian who was slowly understanding what had happened. 

Alcina rested her chin in the palm of her hand, "It's not so easy to face off a witch, Warrior heart." 

Cassian smiled and like lightning, striked. My hands moved with rehearsed precision and two daggers flew out from under my cloak. 

Behind me, my sister leaned back and watched. 

"You're fast." Cassian said, almost impressed. 

"I've had my fair share of enemies to fight." I smiled.

" Let's see if your enemies were worth it or not." With these words, he swung the blade again. 

He had the advantage of having a larger weapon and hence, I had to get closer of I wanted to attack but I also had the advantage of two weapons.   
Steel collided with steel as I tried to find a way to reach so close that I could attack. 

Another advantage on my part was that Cassian had been training for hours. He was worn out. 

Soon enough, he striked me from my left side. I cought the sword in between my daggers and twisted it, giving me just enough time to slice through his leathers near his shoulder. 

He returned my injury by elbowing me in the back and knocking me off my feet. 

"Ow." I turned on my back. Cassian was a black figure with the sun shining behind his head. "That hurt." 

"You fight well." I was surprised by the smile on Cassain face when he held out his hand for me. 

"Thank you."I dusted off my clothes. "Sorry for that." I pointed to his shoulder. 

"That'll heal. It doesn't bother me." 

"I know." I was not foolish enough to think that the commander of the armies of Night Court would be bothered by a small cut.

"You are better than what I expected." He threw the sword under the tree and sat down on the ground.

I sat beside him. "I had no option but to learn." I held his gaze. You know. You know what it feels like to have no option but to fight to survive.

He didn't speak anything but something shifted in his eyes before Rhysand joined us and diverted his attention. 

I strapped my daggers back and leaned back. My eyes fell on Alcina laughing with Feyre and Morrigan. Feyre was telling them something and Alcina laughed at Morrigan's remark. 

Of course, I wasn't completely unaware of a set of hazel eyes on me. I just decided to not look his way. 

I had felt them burning through my skin when Cassian and I were training and I could feel them now. 

Last night felt like a lifetime away but at the same time I felt like if I closed my eyes I could still see his bright eyes and carefree smiles. 

Azriel lingered under the shade of another tree drinking water and, as usual, keeping his distance from everyone else. 

I instinctively fiddled with my fingers, remembering all the drawing I tucked under the blanket this morning. My fingers tingled with the sensation of charcoal from when I drew stars to show him the constellations he could not see from my window. 

We had sat on the edge of the window till midnight, pointing out stars and occasionally, Azriel would ask me about Repearsbrook or the Ideosy. 

Lost in thoughts, I picked on the grass until someone tapped me on the shoulder. 

"Yes?" I raised my eyebrows at Rhysand.

"If we can not face down the Ideosy with force, I believe it's time we start thinking of other ways to stop them." He wiped the sheen on his forehead. 

Feyre, Morrigan and Alcina turned towards us and Cassian called Azriel over.

"Is there absolutely no way to stop them besides killing them?" Feyre asked.

"There is." Alcina said gravely.

"Alcina." I warned her. 

That was not an option. No one could survive that.

"What is it?" Rhysand looked from me to my sister. 

"It's nothing. It won't work." I said, keeping my eyes at the ground. 

"We can still try." Morrigan spoke.   
I have never wanted the ground to swallow me more than I did in that moment. My nails dug into the my palms and I squeezed my eyes shut.

"It's too dangerously. " I tried to argue. 

"I'm sure we have been through worse." Cassian shifted and stole a glance at Azriel. 

He was probably worried it will put his brother in danger and didn't want that. Good. I didn't want that either. 

"If we just try-" Alcina whispered. 

"No." I said firmly this time. We are not taking that chance. 

"Why?" Rhysand interjected.

"Because if we have to resort to that, nobody would like the consequences." I almost snap.

"You can come back. I know you will." My sister presses.

"Tell me." Azriel spoke for the first time. I almost flinched at his word. No. Don't agree to this.

"It's not-"I shake my head in frustration.

"At least tell us what it."Feyre sat down in front of me.

"It's not just about you." Azriel mumbled. 

"It is!" I finally lost my temper. "It is about me! You don't know what I have to do! You don't know what it's like growing up knowing that you're destined to doom!" I was on my feet in seconds and even Alcina flinched at my movement. 

I poked his chest with my finger. "You will not be the one losing everything even after we defeat the Ideosy! You are not the one who is destined to end up in hell for eternity! So yes! It is about me!" 

Azriel stared down at me, calm as ever. I wanted to punch his stupid face until he couldn't look at me like this again, but I curled my hands into fists and stormed off.

Inside the house, everything was quite. I ran up the stairs before I lost myself and ended up hurting someone.

"It isn't about you.   
It isn't about you.   
It isn't about you.  
It isn't about you.  
It isn't about you.   
It isn't ab-" 

I almost closed my door and broke his nose but Azriel slipped inside before that. I wish it had hit him right in his stupid, handsome face.

"Get out." I gritted my teeth in annoyance.

"Tell me what it is and I'll gladly leave." He said. Every calm movement and word made me want to kill him. 

"No. Now, get out and leave me alone." I reached out to open the door but he grabbed my wrist.

"What is it, Lillith?" This time there was an emotion in his voice that I couldn't put my finger on, but he sounded softer, not his icy cold self. Of course, I had heard that tone before. I had heard it just last night but right now, it made my blood boil. 

" Why do you care? I said it doesn't concern you." I yanked my hand out of his. "What happens to me is none of your concerns. Worry about yourself, spymaster." I glared at him. "Even if the Ideosy don't sacrifice me, I'm destined to doom. You have a chance. One shot at life. Make sure you don't miss it." 

"What of I tell you that I don't want a shot at life? What if a tell you I would let them sacrifice me? Would that earn you a chance at life?" He sounded frustrated. Desperate. 

"No." I kept my voice low. "I don't have that luxury. You do. Don't disappointed me, Azriel." My eyes burned as I gulped down my tears. It briefly crossed my mind that this was the first time we had called each other by our names.

His eyes hardened and he clenched his jaw before taking a step back. 

I didn't move from my place as I felt darkness take over me. "Do me a favor?" I smiled faintly.

He stiffly nodded his head. 

"Put me on the bed and leave quickly." I told him.

He frowned but before he could ask any questions a familiar silence filled my mind as I felt my legs give out.

"There she is- My bride. How is earth, my darling?"


	8. Chapter 8

My body ached all over when I woke up again. It took me a while to turn on my back from being curled up in a ball. I didn't open my eyes until I was sure I would not end up crying out in pain or be blinded by light.

As usual, I was cocooned in my own shadows. I could hear and see nothing in the room except for my hands. 

When I decided I had enough strength to pour myself a glass of water I allowed myself a look at my surroundings. 

Everything was the same, except for one small thing. 

A tall, muscular figure lingered in a corner. 

"I told you to leave the room." I sighed and reached for the jug of water. 

Azriel stepped out of the shadows. "I didn't want you to die."

"Don't worry about that." I chugged down the entire glass. "I won't die just yet. Even if I did Alcina would not let you get harmed." 

"I wasn't talking about that." He stood near my bed, watching shadows slowly disappear from around me as I calmed down. 

"What were you talking about then?" I put my feet on the cold floor and forced myself to get up. 

He replied a second later. "I have my own selfish reasons." 

Not wanting to be a part of his word game, I left him standing in the bedroom and entered the bathroom to wash my sweat-soaked face. A few wet strands stuck to my face as I looked at myself in the mirror. 

My cheeks were fuller than they were a while back but my eyes still looked like a bottomless pit. 

When I came back Azriel was near the door. "Your sister said that she would leave once she sees you." 

I mumbled a few curses at her under my breath but followed him downstairs. 

The living area was soaked in a orange glow in the evening. The only people in the house besides us were Morrigan and Alcina who were curled up on the couches as my sister droaned on and on about beautiful gardens and insects.

"You look like you've been to hell and back." Alcina remarked once she noticed me.

I rolled my eyes at her and slumped down besides her. 

She grinned, pleased with herself, and turned towards me but before she could bring on her arsenal of terrible jokes, Morrigan spoke. "Are you alright now? Az told me you fainted." 

"I was just having another vision. Sorry if I made anyone worried." I replied. 

" Does that happen often?" She frowned.

"Very." My sister piped in.

I gave her an irritated look but she just smiled and shoved a grape in her mouth. Then, she proceeded to put one in mouth and I cringed at the sour taste. 

"How do you deal with it?" Azriel tilted his head to one side. "What if you have a vision when you are alone or in danger?" 

"The shadows know how to protect me." I leaned back. He knew about shadows well enough so he just nodded and returned to his silence. 

"Look at this." Alcina poked me with her elbow and held up a paper. "What do think about this man?" 

I didn't bother looking her way. "I don't think about men." 

Morrigan snorted as my sister made a face. "I meant have you seen him before?" She chided. 

I glanced over at what she was holding. It was picture of a man in purple clothes, with his face covered by a golden veil.

"No. Who is that?"I looked over at her. 

"He came over to the huts when I was living there, stayed there for three days and then left. Mrs. Severy didn't like him one bit." She tucked the picture in her pocket.

"Mrs. Severy never likes anyone." I said, remembering her suspicion when she met Azriel.

" That too." Alcina fiddled with something in her lap. 

Looking closer, I realised it was a delicate necklace, with a small vial. The pink candle wax used to seal it shut was enough to tell me of it's contents. Rose petals, Honey, Eggshells, Cinnamon, Salt - for love and protection. Every time she fiddled with it, streaks of pink, red, yellow and orange scattered beautifully on her white dress. 

I sneaked a look at the necklace and Morrigan before Alcina gave me a death glare. 

"What?" I raised my eyebrows. 

She took a deep breath before pursing her lips. "Nothing." 

I gave her an amused expression before returning to looking outside the window. 

They could deal with their emotions by themselves but as a sister, it was my duty and responsibility, to get on Alcina's nerves.

I leaned towards her. "It's-"

But she smacked her hand on my mouth so hard I winced. 

Both Morrigan and Azriel looked at us with confused faces as she dragged me outside. 

"Do not."She hissed.

"What?" I feigned innocence. 

"You know what?" My sister huffed.

"Just do not. You ruined it with Dahlia, not this time."   
" I'd didn't ruin it with Dahlia." I put both my hands on her shoulders and said, "I wasn't going to do anything."

"But you were going to say something." She accusingly said.

"I was just saying that you missed Basil." I pushed her back inside. "I would never do anything to make you upset." I whispered. 

She sighed. "I know." 

When we came back, Azriel and Morrigan were talking about something. They both looked our way and Alcina decided to make an excuse quickly.

"I was telling Lillith to go and buy herself some clothes." She stupidly babbled out. 

"She was not-"I was about to deny that but Morrigan nodded. "You definitely should. It's not dark, you can come back by dinner time." 

"Yes!" Alcina almost jumped. "You and the shadowsinger should go. He can show you around. It's a beautiful evening in an even more beautiful city." 

"Me?" Azriel croaked out. He looked almost as confused as I felt.

"Yes, Az." Morrigan threw a look his way. "You. Who else? You have a good taste in clothes." 

"I don't." He forwned and started shaking his head but by this time, both my sister and Morrigan were pushing us towards the door.

I started, "Alcina , I really-" 

"Just go, will you?" She whispered in my ears. 

By the time I grasped why they both wanted us gone, I was standing outside the house in snow with the spymaster, whose mouth was hanging open.

"Let's leave them alone." I turned around and looked down the street. 

A moment later, Azriel gave up and asked " Where do you want to go?" 

I looked at him with a comical expression. 

"It's my home. Right." He scratched the back of his head. "I'm supposed to show you around." 

I stifled a laugh at his confusion. If someone saw him in that moment they would think he had never seen streets and people before. They would definitely not call him "Prince of Velaris" when he was so lost in in Velaris.

"We can-We can go down to the river. Maybe you'll find something you'll like down there." He pointed in one direction. 

I sighed. "Let's just take a walk." With this, I started walking down the streets and he followed behind me.

"How long have been living here?" I asked. 

"Most of my life. After I joined Rhysand's court, this was my home." He explained.

Not a lot of people payed us any mind. A few were perhaps curious as to who was the new girl with shadows when they had only seen Azriel with them, but most of the people ignored us. A few stopped to politely greet the spymaster but I was so caught up seeing the city, I didn't pay them any mind. 

As we continued walking, the roads grew busier and it became more difficult for me to navigate them.

"It's very crowded." I remarked. 

Azriel stepped over a box outside a small shop. "Are you not used to cities?"

"You saw where I lived my entire life. There was hardly fifty families. We used to have weekly markets of course, but even they were not this crowded." I swayed around a barrel.

"Then you should be grateful it's the evening and not the afternoon. That's when the streets are the most crowded. Don't worry. This will die down in a while." Azriel walked over to my right side putting me between himself and the shops and away from the road.

The crowd did get less in a while but by that time, the sky was the darkest shade of blue. 

I stopped in my tracks and didn't even breath for a while. Velaris was a city to be seen at night. Little lights - like firefighters, loomed over us and laughter echoed down from every house and street. Music poured out of various restaurants and pubs.   
I just stared at the people, houses, lights, colours around me in bewilderment until I hit my nose against a wall. 

Nevermind, it was just Azriel.

He looked down at me with amusement.

"What?" I mumbled, offended. 

"Nothing." He turned around but I didn't miss his attempts at trying to hide his smile.

"Don't laugh at me." I threatened. 

"I'm not laughing at you." He still didn't look in my direction. 

"You're thinking about it." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"It's been a while since I saw someone this shocked by civilization." He said. 

"I'm not shocked by civilization. "I defended myself. "I'm shocked by how beautiful this place is." 

He stopped in his tracks all of a sudden, looking into a shop's windows.

It had a beautifully carved door and golden curtains. I waited for him to tell me why we were standing there but he didn't speak. 

"Come." He said at last and entered the shop. A small bell chimed near the door and a small man peeked up from behind the counter. He pushed his glasses up his nose and looked at the spymaster expectantly. 

Azriel exchanged greeting with the man while I soaked in the energy of the place when I found myself surrounded with so many Crystals all of a sudden. A jewelry shop was always the most soothing place to be, it was always filled with crystals and gems. 

"I had asked you to make something a while ago, can you bring it out now?" Azriel asked the man, who nodded and disappeared behind a tiny door. 

I heard the voices of him rummaging inside for a while before he came out again but this time he had a black and silver box in his hands. 

He handed it to Azriel who traces the silver linings for a while before speaking to me. 

"Now that I know you will be gone even if we survive the Ideosy, can I offer a gift?"

My eyebrows flew up in surprise. "Gift? For me?"

"Yes." He fiddled with the box. 

"I'm sorry, I can't accept that." I started.

"Think of it as a tool that you can use to ask me more about Velaris." Mischief filled his eyes. "Or civilizations."

"First of all, I know about civilizations. Second of all, I don't think I've done anything to earn this." 

"First of all, Gifts are not earned. Second of all, You saved my life. The Ideosy would have hunted me down and sacrificed me by now if you hadn't warned us. You came here, despite the risk that we will kill you, just because there was a chance that you can save innocent lives. I think you've done enough to earn this." 

I opened and closed my mouth several times but nothing came out. 

Azriel walked across the room and gave me the box before taking a step back. His eyes followed every movement of my fingers and each emotion on my face.

I looked at it, debating whether I wanted to look inside or not, but gave up and it opened with a small clink .

A beautiful choker, adorned with black diamonds, sat inside it. No, not black. They were filled with shadows. Azriel had trapped some of his shadows inside the diamonds. 

"This is-" I tried to say something but words failed me. It was breathtaking. 

The shadows swirled inside their glistening cages like small snakes hissing and striking. 

"I told you it's a useful gift." Azriel smugly commented. 

"It is." I agreed, because I didn't know what else to say. "It's still too much." I added.

"I like to think it's at least worth my life." 

"You know that's not what I was saying. " I closed the box. "I'm saying that there was no need for this." 

"Perhaps." He shrugged. "But, I've payed for this, and as good as I would look in this, I feel you would need this."

"This is the most precious gift I've ever received." I smiled in gratitude. I didn't know how to put my emotions into words so I just said what came to my mind.

He returned my smile, his beautiful features lighting up with his own, before we got out of the jewellery shop and stepped into the snow covered streets. It was starting to get colder and colder.   
I shivered and Azriel asked, "Should we go back?" 

"As beautiful as the city is, it's extremely cold." I tugged my cloak closer. 

All the way back to the house, the black box burned against my skin.


	9. Chapter 9

"Sometimes, you just have to drink some water and sit outside like a wilted plant" - these were the words of my sister when she sent me back to my room after I insisted on helping her in the kitchen. 

She had decided she was going to make something for lunch today. Although I knew all too well who exactly she was cooking for, I decided to let her do it. 

When we still lived with our parents, I was always the cook. Alcina had always had a talent with drinks but meals were my job. 

I thought I could make something for everyone to distract myself from the fear that was slowly eating away at my heart but when I came into the kitchen, Alcina was already there preparing something and she wouldn't listen to me. 

"Go drink some sun water." She said. 

So here I was, sitting near the window of my room, with a jar filled with water and a rose quartz, trying to drink some sun water.

Snow water would have made more sense. I thought, looking at all the snow outside.

But then again, snow water is for weak spells and no matter how good I was feeling now, I could always need more strength. 

I kicked a shawl away when it got tangled in my feet and resumed staring at the water. 

At this rate, I will drink this water after a week. The sun was barely peeking over the clouds today so there wasn't enough sunlight for me to make sun water. 

"Stop grumbling about water." I rolled my eyes at the voice in my ears. 

"Stop listening to me." I shot back at the nosy spymaster.

"I can't when you are cursing something every five minutes." His voice again caressed my ears as his shadows curled around in their beautifully carved cages.

"I wasn't the one who asked you to give me this gift." I retorted. 

There was silence for a while, the shadows halted. Then, a muffled sound travelled over to me. A sharp screech followed it, like someone was dragging metal over metal. 

I waited, too used to hearing hell to be bothered by the screams of those left to the mercy of the shadowsinger. 

"I don't regret that." He returned. " I would have regretted not giving it to you." 

I had no answer to that so I let the words dissolve between us. 

"Why are you complaining about water?" He continued. 

I sighed at the mention of my tideous task. "Alcina said I should drink sun water." 

"What is that?" Azriel asked.

"Water charges with the energy of the sun. Except, there is no sun." I explained.

"What does it do?" 

"Lots of things. It can heal almost anything, it can fasten strong spells." I gave a few examples. 

"Does it taste good?" His amused voice traveled over the dark tendrils.

"It tastes like water. Which is good......I think?" I frowned at his question.

"Shame." He replied.

" Are you coming back for lunch?" I asked.

"If things keep going the way they are-" he paused, something cracked on the other side "- not till midnight. " 

"Oh." I was surprised to hear disappointment in my voice. 

"It's good." 

"Why?" I raised my eyebrows. 

"I can keep disturbing you." I could picture the smirk on his face as he said those words. 

"I-" My jab was held back by terror. 

"Azriel." I whispered.

"Yes?" He picked up on my tone. 

"They are here." I stared with wide eyes at the cloaked figure in the garden.

I didn't even breath, every muscle in my body screamed at me to run. Run as far away as I could but I didn't dare move. 

"Who are?" I barely heard his voice over the rush of blood in my ears. "Lillith, who is there?" He asked again. 

With a start, I realised my sister was here and I jumped out of my seat. My heart leaped out my chest as I ran down the stairs. 

No.   
No.  
No.   
No.   
No. 

I had to reach Alcina before they did.   
I vaguely heard Azriel shouting my name but everytime was a blur and the only thing I knew was that I had to be with my sister.

I couldn't yell. If they hadn't found her, i couldn't risk letting them know she was in the house. 

I gasped when I reached the kitchen. 

Branches and Veins were rapidly growing from outside the window and flooding the kitchen. Alcina was backed up in a corner and her magic worked swiftly to create a barrier between her and the tall figures.

One blast of my power and they backed away several feet. 

"Do not touch my sister." I stood between Alcina and the men.

Shadows thickened around me. Alcina worked at spreading and twisting the branches towards them.

To my surprise, this time, they did not try to catch me.

Instead, one of them slowly stepped forward. 

I raised my hand, ready to hex him, but he kneeled in front of me.

"It is time, goddessborn." Four words. That is all it took for me to hex all of them. 

Three stumbled down to the ground and coughed out blood. 

"No." I growled. Every since I was little I knew I would here these words one day. Now that I was hearing them, I felt like I might never breath again. My lungs felt like they were collapsing on themselves. 

"No, it is not." The sound that escaped my lips was nothing less than an animalistic snarl. " I refuse. I do not accept-"

Before I could finish one of them cut me off. "Don't you? We will hunt you till the end of the world if we have to. They asked us to bring you peacefully, otherwise we will have taken you by force." 

His words envoked a rage in me that I never knew existed. "Taken me by force?" I growled while he screamed as his life force twisted inside his body. "You would have taken me by force? You filthy vermin would have dared to touch me or my sister?" The skin on his knee peeled apart as his blood oozed out of the flesh and bones crunched under his skin. 

"Lillith." Alcina's voice was a choked gasped but it pulled me out of my bloodlust.

"I can't-" she leaned heavily on the wall. He magic weaved leaves to create a trap but her face had lost it colour. It took me too long to realise what was happening. 

"No." I whispered. "Stop this." I looked at one of the men, my eyes half wild with desperation. "Don't hurt her." 

"I'm coming with you." I breathed. "I'm coming but you will not hurt anyone." 

If it kept my sister alive , I could go through this for eternity. 

"You know we don't want to hurt anybody. We only want you." 

"Yes. Yes. I am -I am coming. Stop this. Please!" Alcina doubled over in pain. "What are you doing to her?" Tears filled my eyes. 

"Nothing but a little poison. If you come with us, we can cure her." The man said. 

"I will! Just stop this. She's in pain." I had never been so helpless in my life. 

The man produced a small vial. "She will be in perfectly good health if she drinks it." I almost lunged for it. "But-" he put his hand up. "- first you must accept this." 

Another man came forward with a neatly folded black dress. 

"Of course." I took it from him. 

"While you put this on, we will give this to your sister." I nodded. " And then, you can leave with us." 

"Don't let her die." I slowly backed away from Alcina who was covered in sweat and shaking on the ground. Even through the pain, she managed to give me an encouraging smile. 

My forever brave sister. 

Then there was me- The coward. 

But this coward would sacrifice herself a thousand times over for her. 

"You will be fine. I promise." I rushed into a room and quickly slid on the clothes. 

I did not have the time or the interest in knowing what I was wearing when my sister could be taking her last breaths.

"Give me that."I snatched the vial out the the man's hand as soon as I came back to the kitchen. 

I had to force Alcina to open her mouth to drink it. Her usually pink cheeks were pale and her eyes held no shine. She lifted a shaky hand to touch my shoulder. 

"Lillith." She breathed.

"It's going to be okay. Everything will turn out fine. I promise." I held her hand and pressed my mouth to the back of it. A single tear cought itself between my lips. 

"You will have a beautiful garden." I said, my entire body shaking. "And you and Morrigan can grow all the flowers you want." 

She chuckled weakly at that. 

"Hurry." The man snapped.

"Just a moment. She will be fine." I said. 

Alcina lowered her voice to the point when even the wind couldn't carry it but I heard it. "The shadows will always weave together. Even light couldn't keep them apart, what's a little trickster? They are eternal. Inevitable. "

When I took my leave, my eyes were on my sister who was slowly returning to life and my hands around my neck, on the beautiful dark stones that were listening.


	10. Chapter 10

Never in her life could she have imagined that she would be getting married on her parents grave and yet, here she was, draped in black and gold, ready to be the devil's bride. 

Lilith held her head high, refusing to crumble before the person whose lifeblood was others misery. 

Only their face was familiar. The same golden skin and beautiful mouth, except these eyes were merciless and lethal. The mouth did not curve into a soft smile, instead, it had a grin that could cut through people's soul. 

It was the face of the spymaster, but the soul of the afterlife. 

It was Lucifer themselves.

And Lillith looked him right in those cruel eyes and refused to so much as waver.

Her fiercy eyes took one look at the person in front of her and knew that it wasn't the man who had sat by her and talked about stars. It wasn't the man who sometimes cooked almost as good as a witch or the man who gave her dark, enchanting presents. It wasn't the man whose hands were just as gentle as his voice.

It wasn't the man who had stood with her in the brights streets of Velaris and smiled at her. 

It wasn't the kind and gentle, yet unforgiving shadowsinger.

"I was afraid-" Lucifer began.

"Good." Lillith cut him off.

The devil threw his head back and laughed. His laugh was like a shrad of glass, it seemed like even the trees winced. 

"You wicked little thing." They grinned "Stubborn, aren't you?" 

She stared at them blankly and they continued, "Now, imagine this- I'm in my home, patiently waiting for my lovely bride to return but she's too busy. Would you not be jealous?"

The devil stepped closer and took a stand of her hair between their fingers. "I thought it was time you came home. Who do you have left anyway?" They looked at the graves of her parents. 

Lillith slammed the full force of her magic into them. Lucifer staggered back.

"I do not appreciate being touched without permission, especially, by people I clearly detest." She glared at them. 

For a moment, their eyes went wild with rage but Lillith was too distracted to be afraid. 

Her eyes fell upon a man, one of the many who had poisoned her sister and forced her to come here, and in a second, he was gone. Even without seeing him, she knew the infamous Lord of Bloodshed was behind it. 

Her heart picked up pace- half from anticipation, half from fear. 

Lucifer's voice broke her chain of thoughts, "We will see how far your stubbornness goes, once we are in my house." In an instance, they were close to her again. Barely a few inches separated them. "When you are in my realm." They growled. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw two more men disappear, except this time, she succeeded in making eye contact with the High Lord of Night Court himself. 

"Tell me something, pet?" Lucifer lazily smiled. "Who do I look like to you?" 

Their words chilled her to the bone. She stood there with her mouth sealed and her eyes boring into his gold ones, refusing to admit the truth. 

They raised their eyebrows, "Ah, not someone you want to admit? That's quite alright. I have plenty of time to force it out of you and then, perhaps, we will hunt him together, won't we?" 

She clenched her jaw. "Five hundred years of me being struck in your realm and you still don't know me." She smiled, amused that Lucifer thought anyone could force her to give out the name of the spymaster. 

"Let's begin with the ceremony shall we?" The devil smiled down at her and waved a hand in the air. A parchment and a golden quill appeared in front of her. 

Her eyes scanned the paper. A contract. One that would bind her to the Lord of Afterlife forever and, in exchange, give her a title she never wanted- Lady of the Nevermore.

She focused on her breaths, slowly calming down. 

It's going to be fine. She repeated the world she had said to Alcina just a few hours ago. 

Everything will turn out fine. 

Lucifer frowned. "I see." Their eyes scanned the group of Ideosy. "You have help." 

"What?" Lillith feigned confusion. "I have nobody except my sister whom you poisoned. " She didn't have to force herself to add venom in her voice. 

"Ah, then how do you explain-" They snapped their fingers. "-this." 

Cassain cried out in pain from the top of a tree. He almost fell to the ground but caught a branch. 

The members of Idesoy stepped back and got ready to attack. 

"I don't even know who that is." Lillith said in a bored voice. 

"Don't you?" The devil said in an amused voice. "Then what about him?" 

In the blink of an eye, Rhysand stumbled out from behind a bush, coughing out blood. His violet eyes met Lillith's and in one quick blow, she unleashed all of her shadows on The Ideosy. 

Cassian flew down from the where he was barely hanging off the branch to the ground and landed in the middle of the men who were now bring torn apart by shadows.   
Any who managed to escaped were subjected to the wrath of the Commander of the armies of the Night Court. 

Rhysand tried to make his way towards the shadow witch. She winced when her skin burned from the grip of the devil. The feral rage in their eyes made her want to run but they twisted her hand with such force she yelped in pain. 

"I should have known it would be difficult to handle you, pet." 

Before Rhysand could reach them, Lucifer send one fierce blow of their power and even the most powerful Faelord was knocked off his feet. 

Lillith tried to break free and Rhysand, crimson staining his lips, threw his sword towards her. 

Lillith reached out to catch it but Lucifer jerked her arm and it fell a few inches away from her. 

"Let go!" She yelled as their grip on her arm burned off her skin. 

"If only-" They hissed in her face. "- if only you had listened to me, your friends would not be losing their lives."

Lillith turned around in one quick motion and elbowed them in the face. The devil staggered back, giving her just enough time to scramble for the sword. 

Before she could stand up, Lucifer turned back around and their boot collided with her face. She hurled her entire weight on their body, pushing them back, as she saw Rhysand and Cassian struggle with all the witches. 

If she wanted to save her friends, she needed to work fast. Blood dripped down on the side of her face as a fresh cut from the boot ran down from above her eye to her cheek. 

She raised the sword, the metal gleaming, to cause just enough injury so they could escape. She knew she could not kill the Lord of Afterlife, but she could buy her friends and herself enough time to escape. 

But what she saw stopped her hand. 

The Shadowsinger, with a rage she had never fathomed marring his features, had Truth-Teller inside Lucifer's chest. 

It was a terrible and strange sight. Lillith didn't know who Lucifer appeared as to Azriel, but to her, it looked like he was stabbing himself. 

Hot, boiling blood poured out from the gaping wound as Azriel pulled the sword out and the devil sputtered out dark blood.   
The feral rage subsided when the spymaster looked at her and touched her arm like he wad making sure she was there and his mind was not playing tricks. 

"Cass!" He yelled over the cries and whimpers of the Ideosy. "Rhys! I have her!"   
The two men snapped their head in his direction before nodding. 

A few bruises were starting to bloom at their faces too. 

Coming out of her daze, Lillith, alongside Rhysand, sent all of her remaining powers and her shadows strangled the Ideosy, making it easier for them to escape. 

Azriel picked her up and shot up towards the sky with Cassian and Rhysand right behind them. 

"We can not go straight to Velaris." Lillith yelled over the wind and the flapping of the wings. 

"We are not going to Velaris." Rhysand answered. 

"Good. Is Alcina-" She hesitated in completing the question but Cassian saved her the pain.

"She's alive. She's....not in a lot of pain."   
That was good enough for the circumstances so she took a breath of relief. 

As her grip on Azriel grew looser, he held her closer, trying to remind himself that she was alive and well. 

After a few minutes of flying she finally mustered the nerve to talk. "I have a scar too now." She smiled faintly.

Azriel looked down at her where she was resting her head against his chest. He blinked a few times and said, "It's beautiful. Like a shooting star." He looked ahead again. 

"Shooting star?" Lillith raised her eyebrows. "You should make a wish then." 

"I don't have any wishes." He replied.

"How's that?" 

"I have all I could ever ask for."


	11. Chapter 11

I sat by Alcina's side until my tears dried and Morrigan suggested that I should eat something. 

Reluctantly, I left them alone. Morrigan sat by my sister's side, her hands gently stroking Alcina's cheeks that were slowly getting redder.

When I had come back, she had a burning fever and it still hadn't gone away but she was not shivering anymore and even mumbled a few words. 

I stood in the kitchen, staring at the snow covered peaks until my eyes watered again and I blinked rapidly. 

It was afternoon when I had left; now it was past midnight and I was once again alone with the spymaster. Cassian and Rhysand had gone back to Velaris to make sure that Amren and Feyre were safe and no-one had tried to enter the city again.  
After today, they knew how difficult it was for a fae to hold their own against a witch, let alone a group of them. 

I decided to cook something for all of us to distract myself. 

I got the things I needed from the cupboard and started chopping some carrots for the soup for Alcina. The wooden cabin was surprisingly well furnished as, from what I was told, it was not used very often. The fact that it was in the mountains didn't help either. 

Every now and then, I would find myself lost in thoughts again and had to force myself to focus on the task at hand. 

The memory of Cassian almost falling from the tree and Rhysand coughing out blood sent chills down my spine.

How many people am I going to hurt before this all comes to an end? 

I looked at my hands. Under the curtain of moonlight, the thick, wet liquid coating them, shone. I stumbled backwards, trying to breath. It was becoming more and more difficult. 

The knife clattered to the floor as my legs started to feel weak and the walls felt too close. 

I furiously wiped my hands on my dress. The dress. The black material moved like a liquid and threatened to choke me in one swift movement. I wanted it off me. I needed it to be away from me. 

But the blood won't go away. It was on my hands. The blood of my mother, my father. The blood of my friends, neighbors, children.

My eyes burned as I scrubbed my hand on that cursed dress until one of the thin sleeves ripped from near my elbow. 

I didn't stop. The cold floor was stained red everywhere I touched it. There was so much blood on my hands. Blood I could never get off them. 

I was mildly aware of someone touching my shoulder. It wasn't until they grabbed my hand, that I realised that it was Azriel. 

"Lillith." He whispered.

"Let go." I tried to pry my hands out if his grasp. 

"No." He said firmly. "Look at me."

"There is blood all - all over them." I sobbed with my head against his chest. "I need to wipe it off." 

"There is no blood." He ran his hand in my hair while the other one held tight onto my wrists. "It's just your imagination. It's okay."

He rested his chin on the top of my head. 

Warm tears flowed down my cheeks as we both sat on the floor. Azriel didn't let go of my arms until I stopped shivering. My throat hurt and my mind was muddled.

Every thought was a blurred picture on the canvas of my brain. Like someone had carelessly smudged paint over a picture and now it was little more than the depiction of chaos.

"I need to get out of this." I stood up abruptly. "I need this thing off my body." I almost tore down the dress from my body. I didn't want to see that thing on my skin one moment longer. 

Azriel place both his hand on my waist and pushed me against the counter. "Listen to me." His deep voice sounded hoarse in the silent house. "You need to calm down."

"No. I need this thing to be gone from my sight." In that moment maybe he thought I was mad, and maybe I was. I didn't care enough. 

"Lillith." He cupped my face. "Look at me. Look into my eyes." For the first time since we came back, I looked into his golden eyes while my body shuddered with ever breath. "Do you think I want to see you in this thing? If I could, I would tear it to bits and pieces myself." My hands trembled but I was more focused on Azriel's warm hands and his even breathing. Anything but the dress. 

"I feel disgusting. " I didn't know I felt it until I said it. "I feel like I don't belong to myself." Fresh tears made their way down my cheeks. "And it won't stop." My vision was blurry from the tears but I could have sworn Azriel's eyes were lined with silver tears until he blinked them back and pulled me into an embrace again. 

I felt like I was shaking again but I pressed myself harder against him and breathed into his scent. 

He rubbed circles on my back while I closed my eyes and focused on my breaths. 

"Azriel." My voice shook so much I couldn't even recognize it. 

"Yes?" 

"It's still the same." I had to clutch onto his jacket to stop myself from ripping off the dress. "I feel the blood between my fingers. It's my mother's. " A sob escaped my lips. 

"It's not." He gently swayed from side to side. "There is nothing on your hands." 

"There is. I see it." I insisted. "I killed them." There is a set of words, a sentence, for everyone that can destroy them. For me, it came out of my own mouth. 

He pulled back. "You did not." I felt myself sinking to the floor again. I had no energy to remain standing. Right now, Azriel was the only solid thing in my world and he did not let go of me. "You didn't kill anyone." I shook my head but before I could say something, he continued. "Their death is not your fault. You didn't choose to be who you are. You are not responsible for anyone's death." 

If I could, I would explain that moment like a lost ship finding a lighthouse or that moment when a sea that has been raging the entire night finally decides that it has caused enough destruction. He was like the calm in my chaos, the only thing that was sure in my crumbling world and I was selfish. 

"Can I ask for another gift?" I asked, this time with a smile.

"Anything. " He pressed his forehead against mine.

"After I'm gone, think about me when you look at your hands." 

He stopped running his hands up and down my back. Neither of us said anything for a but when he spoke, his words were shaking. "You don't have to. We survived-" 

I shook my head and sniffed. "No, Azriel." I looked into his beautiful golden eyes. "Too many words and too little time, we were doomed from the start." 

With this, I pressed my wet lips against his warm ones. 

Everything inside of me dissolved when he immediately kissed back harder. 

I was like a candle in a storm and he was the only thing keeping the flame safe. I flickered everytime his grip on me loosened for it to only become firmer. 

Even before I knew what was happening, we were inside a room. I didn't know which one and I didn't care. 

His mouth explored mine as he pushed me against a wall. I traced his jawline while one of my hands was tangled in his curls. His fingers dug into my skin as if he just held onto me tight enough, he would succeed in keeping me there forever.

He pressed open mouthed kissed down my neck and a soft groan escaped my lips when he sucked on a spot right above my breast. I pressed my thighs together until they shook.

Gently, he tugged on the dress, seeking permission and I nodded. In one swift motion, the wretched dress was laying on the floor and relief flooded through me as Azriel's warm breaths touched my skin. 

It was like I was standing on the edge of the world and he was pushing of off of it with every touch and kiss.


End file.
